What a topic! Whether you are the better half of a marital relationship or are finding yourself single and pregnant, pregnancy can be scary. There are so many unknowns typically beginning with "Will my baby be healthy?" to "Will I be a good parent?" For as many unknown questions there are thankfully not as many unknown answers! God willing your baby will be healthy. It shouldn't take very long with today's medical technology to determine that your baby is on course developmentally. However sometimes there are surprises. My wife and I were surprised by my 5 year old when she was in the womb. We learned that she would be born with spina bfida, a spinal conditional effecting motor movement and nerve communication stemming from the spinal cord. Obviously we were a scared and a bit shocked. We listened to what the doctor said regarding termination and possible risk, etc. Honestly, we heard all of those things but we knew innately that this child was ours and we were prepared to love her into life. We did and we couldn't be happier. There have been sad times, times of guilt, times of frustration, but guess what? All parents do and will face those same times. So for us the answer to will she be healthy was initially very frightening but our daughter is now, in spite of her condition very healthy.

The other question which is common: Will I be a good parent? Well there is an answer to that one as well and it doesn't have to be frightening at all. The answer is you will be as good of a parent as you seek to be! John Bowlby, recognized as the Father of Attachment, stated that we mother the way we were mothered. I revise that a bit to say we parent the way we were parented…unless you make a mindful effort to do otherwise. Parenting or mothering the way we were is scary for many of us. The key is to understand that for the negatives you may have experienced as a child there are were many positives. Appreciate the positives and seek to grow through the negatives. Don't be a hostage to the negatives.

Perhaps you have questions now that you are pregnant?

B.