When my adopted sister was born she could fit inside the palm of your hand. She weighed less than 3 lbs following birth and spent her first three months of life outside the womb in an incubator. John Bowlby, the Father of Attachment, stated that the first three years of our life establishes the blueprints for all our future relationships! However, it is important to understand that some of these blueprints are formed while still in the womb. For most parents of a preemie that were caught by surprised. For a number of reasons the baby arrived before he was fully ready. Here are just a few tips to keep in mind:

1. Make every effort to be with your baby. Fuss with the doctors and nurses if you have to, move a mountain to be with your baby. Your baby has been with you and only you for up to six months and beyond…being without you is very scary and overwhelming even if it appears that he doesn't know any difference. He does.

2. Get skin to skin contact everytime you can. Just breathe, rock, hmm, and think soft thoughts.

3. Start nursing as soon as you can. Both you and your baby need the connection as well as the oxytocin response (the anti-stress/ bonding hormone) as much as you possibly can and nursing is the most advanced way to create this response.

4. Breathe. It will only make it more difficult for the two of you if you are stressed out. Everything is going to work out as it should. Try to relax. Take slow, deep, steady breaths inhaling into your nose, exhaling out of your mouth.

5. Dad…honor your wife. Step in where she can't. Take care of her, do as she needs you to, be there, check on the baby often and don't let anyone stress her out…that includes you!

Perhaps you have other questions and thoughts about preemies that you would like to share?

B.